It's The Butterfly Affect Happening To You

In one form of another it hits you that a decision you made in hopes to better yourself, is really you just running away from loving your life. Maybe it was ingrained in to you from the start from an unfortunate, unsatisfying childhood or it was something that happened to you as you became the person you are today, but it doesn’t matter, You run, you hide, you avoid heartbreaks. If you become too close to the something’s, the somewhere’s, the someone’s in your life that when you eventually do have to leave you want it to hurt less, better yet, not at all. You honestly create these dreams, these aspirations, in hopes to experience more, to grow. In reality you’re spreading yourself thin across the globe in an attempt to protect yourself from heartbreak, in the process feeling less for the everyday things. Like pulling the ends of a spider web so far from the center that it loosens here and there until it’s broken strands around the world that once held it together.

When you think you’re feeling your lowest you contemplate going back to the place it all started. Maybe you’ve learned what you needed to. Maybe you can press restart and begin a new path with wisdom and experience in your book of tricks. Then the butterfly comes. The peace and clarity you needed comes knocking on your door reassuring you that is not the answer. So you don’t take your return flight home, convinced that this was the next event that led you down your trip down the yellow brick road.

June 22^nd, 2013:

Calgary hit with disaster, city flooded, unlike anyone ever imagined, thousands evacuated.

I would have just arrived back home, For days I’ve had thousands of thoughts of worry, sadness, hopefulness, helplessness, purposeless. I’ve been lost, as if I’m amounting to nothing. My home has said “hell or high water,” we will thrive again.

Written June 28, 2013